I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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