i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
