ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
