I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
