I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
3 2 1 whiskey
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
