i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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