We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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