As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
