I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
