Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sext me about skeletons
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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