Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
