Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
