why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
