On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize