We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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