Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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