I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
