Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
