whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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