No awkward lesbian experiences without me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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