your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
