TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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