Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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