Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He did a backflip because drugs
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