my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
