Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
