And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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