508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Buhtt sex?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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