Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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