fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Even my vagina gasped.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
