My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
