Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
