I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
