The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
