I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
