tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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