I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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