I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
