Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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