apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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