I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize