my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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