I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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