i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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