Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't deserve a penis
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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