Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
