You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My balls are so social today.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
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We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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