And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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