He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
