I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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