You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
