My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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