she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
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THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe