so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround