at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.