3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think i have herpe
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!