Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!