i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
