Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
