I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize