Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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