we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
