sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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